Sometimes...you just know. douche nipple.

I have to start by saying...MADISON JAMES MADISON WE ARE THE DUKES OF JMU!!!!!!!!!! if you are unfamiliar with Harrisonburg...make youself...Obama was just there...even he knows the greatness!

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/teams/jjb

http://www.jmu.edu/

Who's number one...we ARE

SOOOO...anyway. this happened a week ago. none of you will ever understand the apprehension and freaking out i went through with BECAUSE...well...i wrote this one at work. when i got home...it wasn't there. i thought CRAP! the IT spam filter caught it or I sent it to the CEO...i'm had. turns out my box was just too full and it finally went out on Monday, BUT not without me freaking out and going to the office first after hours. Only problem, suddenly my card doesn't work afterhours. Shite. unbelievable. Continue to read and you'll understand.

woo loo loo woo loo loo woo loo loo...last week....

Well, I wasn't going to do this but as I sit here listening to the sounds of a baby someone has brought to the office to show off…I can't help it. Why is it that when people hear those grunts and chortle sounds, everyone is gathered around making rhetorical proclamations like "look at that face!" yeah. Look at it. It's a fucking baby face. What? "Hiiiiiiii Pumpkin, hiiiiii baby" in the type of voice you use when you're imitating a fairy godmother or woody allen. Then I listen to the mother saying "well she's advanced blah blah blah." Naturally I tune out after advanced. Newsflash…your fucking baby is 4 months old. What possibly can she be advanced at? Sitting upright in her shit rather than rolling over in it? Or did she stop eating her own poop already? I'm confused. What she can open her eyes? Good fucking job. I know dogs smarter than that. Well now there's the crying because the mean old lady in the office won't get out of her face…yes, the one I slapped at the xmas party. Ugh. Give the baby some air girls so she'll shut her yap. Goddamn.

I've done about 15 minutes of work today, totally office spacing but I'd rather do this in exact baby silence. I drank too much on a school night last night. It was highly inappropriate but I always seem to suffer at the hands of peer pressure. Peer pressure by fun. See me and fun…we're fucking friends. Me and puking in the sink…not friends. I can't focus on anything except for getting a massage tonight and going to bed. I have 2 hours left. This is terrible.

I'm wondering about things though. Things like what is the purpose of roman numerals anymore? We have real numbers now, why the fuck does anyone continue to use them? I've also noticed that when I'm tired I walk differently. My feet go out to the side like a duck and I push off with the inside of my big toe like I'm climbing up a hill. Weird. Time out. I need to go get some chips. Well those were delicious. Now back to my time letting my mind wonder like a four year old.

See...this is where it left off before I thought I emailed the CEO. Welcome to my first blog with no pictures and sound bytes. I took me a week STILL to get the balls to post this because i know now I'm in no trouble. In your head imagine this line "how do i know when it's love?" by van halen. end scene.

Well. I'm off to adopt a black child.

KDIZ