Today's scriptures require a key and some love

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KEY(as in legend)

* Food for thought
** Words to live by
! Fo Shizzle
π Pi
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OOOOOk…late start this morning as I decided to watch a movie around 1045pm last night. Well, the departed is the longest movie ever so it was over at 9am and I...I was up at 10.


TODAY'S MISSION
Task 1-Taking my car


*ok...i don't have the monster tires.......yet!
to the shop to see what the rattling, which I've already self diagnosed via the internet as a loose or broken rear joint, noise is and get it fixed.


Task 2- Find this store:

Kim Suck Joo
601 N Belt Line Rd
Irving, TX 75061

(972) 313-1725
**Maybe if Kim did this, her career in showbiz would be kosher (no pun intended) right now.


Task 3- Get underwear. Time to make use of the Victoria's Secret gift cards from x-mas.






*AND clearly I will look like this:








See...we're soooo cut from the same cloth. I'm pretty sure I'll be joining the angels pretty soon.


I went to the shop. My roommate(who is awesome all the time except for when she makes me watch 13 going on 30) recommended this place which she refers to as "in the ghetto." In Irving, "the ghetto," means an area waning in abundance of fast food, chain restaurants and strip malls. So what she means is a less populated area spotted with auto repair shops and maybe a furniture shop or gas station here and there.
*breaking news…this will only make sense to Gaff but there is a severe storm warning for palo pinto county


I guess the common folk is lost without a veritable cornucopia of wendy's, whataburger (which was referenced on king of the hill yesterday on the history of TX episode), chic-fil-a, arby's, mcdonald's, chipoltle, quizno's, taco bueno, chili's, hooters, bennigan's, 7-11, diamond shamrock gas stations and a strip mall every ten feet. Curiosly enough, whataburger's logo looks a lot like the weezer logo(I'm sure rivers has already tried to sue) and the restaurant looks a lot like wienerschnitzel.








So, back to the shop…the wait was too long so the guy suggested i come back between 2 and 3. Of course this was my window to go shop for drawers. i.e. draws/undawear. Lets not forget the braziere.


I proceeded to walk into Victoria's Secret. A few things caught my attention right away…the red carpet was wrought with spill stains and the teenage employees. Everyone knows that's a dead giveaway for no sales help. There was no way to know the surprise I was in for next.


I was completely excited though, not like in the romantic I want to do it with this bra kind of way, but to be underwear shopping. It's totally a whole thing!


After about 30 to 45 minutes of trying shit on I realized something…my boobs ARE kinda big. I had to make the leap of a cup size. How depressing. I mean the straps get wider, there's more hooks…NOT sexy at all. I don't want to be this cup size because it makes me think of strippers and old ladies. I don't want to be thrust into that category! See pictogram insert for scientific gravity study:

π
I felt this belonged in the science portion of this rant.


So as if it weren't bad enough, you know what kind of music they play in VS. That crappy stock techno/dance stuff…not the ones that are singles…things you've never heard. Suddenly I hear an opening riff I recognize with avengence. It took me right back to the hair band days, my inspiration for wanting to be a rockstar and the one hit wonders I loved. It was "love is on the way" by Saigon kick. WHO? You say…here's who



what I heard was this…

Terrile...F!

at this point I've been in the store for over an hour and reallllly needed to go.


I eventually left and headed back to the shop. They checked out the jeep and then he referred me to a friend down the road so off I went.


I arrived to find a man with a long braid down his back and was sure the giant truck thing was his.



the only difference was it was white (imagine that) and had a confederate flag emblem on the front.


! After exchanging some pleasantries I experienced some tx hospitality and he fixed my car for free as it was a quick weld job!
He then informed me to be careful of other repair shops in the area and there "are a bunch of sand n*gg*** in the area that will rip me off." I took his words to heart and was on my way. (*not before he instructed me where I can go muddin' and drink some beers)


NOW…task 1 and 2 were accomplished. I set off to locate kim suck joo. Much to my dismay whatever type of business this was(I think grocery) is no longer in existence…sorry no photo.


So let's review what we have learned. *Owning a vehicle with tires bigger than the standard car tire creates an unspoken bond whether you want it or not, ANY bad song can somehow become passable if covered by a techno/dance artist(I use this term loosely), and my boobs are bigger than I thought. Ugh…end scene and roll credits to "bittersweet symphony" by the verve. (**that song always make me think of striped pants like this. There's something comforting in that I think)